Francis, one of my graduates writes to ask a question that many want answered:
Dear Jerry,
In PSL and then again in
Becoming a Technical Leader, you challenged me to write in a Journal. BATLe suggests 5 minutes a day for 3 months.
I decided to give it a try and here is what has happened so far,
For the first 2+ weeks, I mostly recorded highlights of what has happened or what I was hoping to do in the coming day. One thing stood out for me so far. Most days have a mix of good things and bad things and the writing helped me not forget the good things. However, aside from that, I began to feel that I really was not getting much out of it and was giving up a valuable 5 minutes of reading time (Some days the 5 mins was my reading time!)
I went back to my PSL notes and found the idea of recording the things I've tried and why and decided I would try that. It didn't work for me because then I felt forced to think of something, drew a blank and ended up not writing anything for 6 days. This was compounded by my getting a cold and feeling down about my work situation (Yesterday my boss confirmed that my position is being eliminated. I can interview for another opening but won't know the result until the end of October.) There is probably an analogy to overeating when depressed. It seems harder to be disciplined when I feel emotionally weak.
Anyway, I started writing again today but have come up with some questions:
Am I just being impatient? Based on your experience, should I give the full 3 months before I expect to see the benefits?
Should journaling about "I tried X because of Y" be done more as a collected stone when you think of it instead of a regular set aside writing time? What is the goal? Do I understand it right that self awareness is the main one? How would you compare writing to meditation for that? My sense is that there might be numerous kinds of self awareness.
I would appreciate your insight.
Jerry's Reply
Here's some things to think about, possibly to write your thoughts about in your "five minutes a day."
1. You can't schedule inspiration. The 5 minutes is not to be taken literally, but as something minimal to get you to take out the journal every day. It could be one minuted Or one word, minimum.
2.
For the first 2+ weeks, I mostly recorded highlights of what has happened or what I was hoping to do in the coming day. One thing stood out for me so far. Most days have a mix of good things and bad things and the writing helped me not forget the good things. However, aside from that, I began to feel that I really was not getting much out of it and was giving up a valuable 5 minutes of reading time (Some days the 5 mins was my reading time!)But why have you budgeted merely 5 min/day "reading time"? That's seems to me the most important question raised by this experiment. Write about that for a while.
3.
I went back to my PSL notes and found the idea of recording the things I've tried and why and decided I would try that. It didn't work for me because then I felt forced to think of something, drew a blank and ended up not writing anything for 6 days. This was compounded by my getting a cold and feeling down about my work situation (Yesterday my boss confirmed that my position is being eliminated. I can interview for another opening but won't know the result until the end of October.) There is probably an analogy to overeating when depressed. It seems harder to be disciplined when I feel emotionally weak.Of course it's more difficult. Write that thought in your journal and devote your five minutes to writing about that and how you can make it easier.
4. And perhaps you could write about why you're so passively accepting having to wait until October to do anything about losing your job.
5.
Anyway, I started writing again today but have come up with some questions: Am I just being impatient? Based on your experience, should I give the full 3 months before I expect to see the benefits? Should journaling about "I tried X because of Y" be done more as a collected stone when you think of it instead of a regular set aside writing time? What is the goal? Do I understand it right that self awareness is the main one? How would you compare writing to meditation for that? My sense is that there might be numerous kinds of self awareness.Look at your list of questions in the previous paragraph. They are all journal subjects, current things you need to learn about. They will be more relevant to you than 5 minutes reading some trade journal or newspaper or book. That's true of all these puzzles.
6. And why write rather than simply meditate? (Remember that one doesn't exclude the other.) Meditation puts you into the here and now--what you're currently struggling with. Writing can do that, too, but also gives you a record of your patterns, which allows you to work on longer term stuff, like "Oh, I've done this before. Why am I repeating? Do I want to try something different?
[By happenstance, I've been looking through some of my past journals (good thing to do when you're sick). The page is open to July 31, 1986 (23 years ago) and one observation stands out for me, as I'm facing a long hard recovery process from kidney cancer and other ailments:
"(in advance of hard work) When you get some new information, will you be open to *considering* it, even though it may contradict other things, and knowing that I don't have to accept it in the end?"]Seems a valuable thing for me to remember, 23 years a later (as well as being valuable to you, in your situation). That's the kind of thing a journal does for me: brings my own wisdom about myself forward to me, many years, or days, later, when it may be more timely.
Does this help?
Francis Replies
Thank you, that is very helpful!Here's some things to think about, possibly to write your thoughts about in your "five minutes a day."
I will do that and see what happens. One thing that I really noticed from watching you was that you seemed both self aware and able to articulate your awareness very clearly. Those are both things that I aspire to beyond where I am right now. That is what drew me to try writing in a journal in the first place. Your challenge in BATLe was what got me doing it.1. You can't schedule inspiration. The 5 minutes is not to be taken literally, but as something minimal to get you to take out the journal every day. It could be one minuted Or one word, minimum.
Thank you for the clarification. I was using the journal I got from PSL to write either in the morning before work or at night before going to sleep. During the day, if I'm in front of a computer, I've been typing notes into Evernote if I am "inspired". I also use Evernote to paste in interesting things that I find. I have many categories and I also have a Collected Stone category for just thoughts I want to save for future review or writing ideas saved for some day. If I am away from a computer, I usually just save a voice recording into my mobile phone and later either add it as an action to MLO or a note in Evernote. Sometimes, I use index cards and transcribe in a similar way.
I usually prefer to type because sometimes, I can't read my own handwriting, but I have been using the journal for mornings or evenings first as part of the experiment, but also because I heard that there are benefits to writing by hand (I think it was from Andy Hunt's *Refactoring your Wetware*) Hey! I just recorded an "I tried X because of Y!".But why have you budgeted merely 5 min/day "reading time"? That's seems to me the most important question raised by this experiment. Write about that for a while.
OK, I will.
The short answer is that it's not easy for me to fit it all in:
1. Time with family
2. Normal household stuff
3. My regular job
4. Cub Scout Den Leader
5. Regular exercise (swimming, running mostly)
6. Sleep
7. Making time to meditate, stretch, read, write
I am not where I want to be with the items on line 7 but I am making progress there and the other items are doing fine at the moment. That was not always true. Overall, I'm getting better.
It seems harder to be disciplined when I feel emotionally weak.Of course it's more difficult. Write that thought in your journal and devote your five minutes to writing about that and how you can make it easier.
Right. Will do. You make it seem so obvious! Why didn't I think of that? Are you sure your passion is not "Helping smart people to realize how stupid they really are."?4. And perhaps you could write about why you're so passively accepting having to wait until October to do anything about losing your job.
Hey! Who said I was passively accepting...? I plan on working hard to do well at the interview. I believe that my chances are good, it's just stressful for me to be in limbo. I will continue to do some networking to see if other options surface. And maybe more importantly, I plan on spending time thinking about what I most want to do. I'll even write about it!
Anyway, I started writing again today but have come up with some questions: Am I just being impatient? Based on your experience, should I give the full 3 months before I expect to see the benefits? Should journaling about "I tried X because of Y" be done more as a collected stone when you think of it instead of a regular set aside writing time? What is the goal? Do I understand it right that self awareness is the main one? How would you compare writing to meditation for that? My sense is that there might be numerous kinds of self awareness.Look at this list of questions. They are all journal subjects, current things you need to learn about. They will be more relevant to you than 5 minutes reading some trade journal or newspaper or book. That's true of all these puzzles.
I've been asking these questions in my journal. If I understand you, I could try to put more effort in answering them in the journal while I'm at it. If I get stuck, I can write that I'm stuck. Maybe when I review later, other answers will come to me.And why write rather than simply meditate? (One doesn't exclude the other.) Meditation puts you into the here and now--what you're currently struggling with. Writing can do that, too, but also gives you a record of your patterns, which allows you to work on longer term stuff, like "Oh, I've done this before. What's repeating? Do I want to try something different?
I do struggle with staying in the here and now.
I also see how I have not given this enough time to see any real patterns.
BTW, you said you were "facing a long hard recovery process from kidney cancer and other ailments," but last I heard, you said that the cancer is gone. How is your recovery going? Long and hard are the strongest words I remember you using for yourself. The journal entry you revisited said:
"When you get some new information, will you be open to considering it, even though it may contradict other things, and knowing that I don't have to accept it in the end?"
This seems to touch on both self-blindness (Do I even see the new information in the first place?) and No-Problem Syndrome ("Will I consider the implications of this information when I think I really know what I'm doing?").
I wonder if these questions are the Windex to avoid cloudy judgment? If so, what is the paper towel? How do you know when your judgment is clear? This led me down a whole line of thought. Thanks!Seems a valuable thing for me to remember, 23 years later (as well as being valuable to you, in your situation. That's the kind of thing a journal does for me: brings my own wisdom about myself forward to me, many years, or days, later, when it may be more timely.
Does this help?
It really does. Thank you!
I'll let you know how it goes.The Next Exchange (Francis [italics] replies to Jerry's reply)
I really do appreciate (you for) your encouragement! I will take it to heart.
I've been thinking of writing as a "separate" activity and I get your point about making it more a part of the other things I am doing.1. Time with family
Try a five-minute family writing practice.
2. Normal household stuff
3. My regular job
4. Cub Scout Den Leader
I used to do that. Have the Cubs write something about Cub Scouts at each den meeting.
5. Regular exercise (swimming, running mostly)
I used to take a scuba note slate to the pool. Now that I no longer swim, I keep mine by the shower. Water gives me lots of thoughts.
6. Sleep
Keep your journal by the bed, for when you awaken with an idea.
7. Making time to meditate, stretch, read, write
I am not where I want to be with the items on line 7 but I am making progress there and the other items are doing fine at the moment. That was not always true. Overall, I'm getting better.
Jerry, are you sure your passion is not "Helping smart people to realize how stupid they really are."?I don't see it that way. It's just that smart people from time to time don't take the time to use their smarts. Writing and other forms of meditation help them change these habits.
I'm sorry. That was my poor attempt at humor. I really get that you are being helpful and that your suggestions will help me understand my habits in the first place and give me the opportunity to choose to change them.So be in writing, rather than in limbo. The record will help next time you think you're in limbo.
That's the thing. I really do see a connection with actively responding to my circumstance as being an effective way to avoid bogging down in worry. Sometimes though I still feel the impact of underlying fear beyond what I think is constructive even when I'm trying to keep a positive perspective.
Your exercise about tracking the ups and downs of my work history also helped give me perspective and I'm sure there is more to write about there....Why not a cloth?
Sure, I don't see why not. Some materials can streak on glass, but the new microfiber ones work pretty well. I think I was figuring that "paper towel" might appeal more to the senses.
How do you know when your judgment is clear?You don't, not right away. But in your journal, you have a record you can study over time.
I buy that. I also have a sense that it's relative. Sometimes, maybe when I'm finally ready, I'll discover schmutz that was there all along, even when I thought my judgment was already clear. It's like when you've been driving by day for a long time and everything is clear. Then one night you discover all kinds of glare from headlights due to a thin layer of buildup on the inside of the windshield. Of course that makes you want to clean it.
I'll let you know how it goes.Excellent. I look forward to hearing.
Now I've got to!
Thank you for showing interest. I feel a little better already...
Francis
