Breaking the Reader Trance - Part 2

A while back, I described the writer's job as placing–and keeping–the reader in a kind of trance, that took that reader to other times, other places, with other people. I gave some examples of writer mistakes that break that reader trance, then concluded by asking:

How about you, dear Reader? Do you have any trance-breakers to share?

Since then, quite a few readers have submitted examples of trance-breakers. Here are their quotes:

Typos

"After the fifth typo in two pages, I decided that if the author and editors didn't care enough to proofread the book, I didn't care enough to read it."

Grammatical errors

"I was reading a fine space opera, sailing through a galaxy far, far away, when the author wrote that an alien 'lead' the team into the warp core. I can accept aliens and warp cores, but 'lead' instead of 'led'–well, that led me right back to my living room in Des Moines."

Difficult Sentences

"The story promised to be interesting, with a sympathetic protagonist, until I stumbled over a 73-word sentence. I looped back to read it four or five times, then managed to parse it into something sensible. Still fascinated by the character, I put myself back in the trance–until two paragraphs later, I hit a 112-word sentence. Now I was fascinated by the sentence structure and word count. Were there other, longer, sentences? I'll never know. I recycled the book."

Unfamiliar Words

"Generally speaking, I like to learn new words, but enough is enough. I was reading a literary novel and a few pages in, I had to look up 'aeneous,' a new word for me. I was pleased to add this shining bronze color to my vocabulary. A few pages later, I learned that 'luteolous' meant 'yellowish'–an adjective that might be useful someday. But when I encountered 'smaragdine' and 'pavonated' further down the same page, I put away my dictionary–and the novel. If I want a vocabulary lesson, I might go back to it, but the feeling I had was that the author was not telling a story, but showing off how smart he was."

Difficult Names of People or Places

"Whenever I come across alien names or places that I can't pronounce–like GN'*b-xrz or yyyytlmfh, I give up on the story. In fact, when I'm browsing for science fiction, if the book starts with a key to pronunciation, I stick it back on the shelf."

Foreign Words or Expressions

"I had more Latin than I wanted in Sister Mary Margaret's class. Haud gratiae!."

Extreme Dialect

"I don't mind dialect, but a few words, once in a while, are all that I need to feel the character's voice. If it goes on and on, or I have to stop and figure out what the character is saying, I'm turned off. And out."

Repetitive Words

My co-critiquer, Pari, makes this point when she points out points that must be corrected to stay on point.

Long Lists

"If I want to read long lists, I'll go to a conference and sleep through a PowerPoint presentation."

Accidental Arbitrary Alliteration

Several sagacious souls spurned such silly shortcomings.

Cutesy Writing

"A baker's dozen bright-eyed and bushy-tailed hotshots fingered extracts that were much of a muchness."

Point of View Inconsistencies

"When I can't keep track of who's speaking or observing, or when the point of view character is seeing or hearing or knowing something they can't possibly see or hear or know, then I realize I'm reading something made up, and not made up very well."

Lack of Motivation

"Sometimes characters in a story do things that seem to have no motivation. They may have their reasons, but if the author doesn't make those reasons clear, then I cease to believe these are real characters."

Lack of Examples or Excessive Examples

Well, this essay certainly has examples, but perhaps it's time to stop.